The 55th day without her

Actually today don't have any class, but we receive a message from our lecturer that our site visit to church is on today. wuwu~.~ i need to reach at college quite early... so lazy to wake up.. =( because me and kay li talked on the phone for more than an hour.. hey girl, if you see this, i do apologize at here.. because of what i said that hurt you.. actually, i knew very long time ago... but i thought you knew that is my attitude.. i thought you knew me "well"... ^^ this afternoon, i find my friends to drink again... this time with sa poh's friends... we did a stupid thing when wanted to go back. all of us follow michelle and all sit into her car.. and play around inside the car.. =) piG ya piG... nothing... good luck!!

The 54th day without her

today, IBS class canceled but we still went to college as usual time for complete our project.. i really felt damn to my members... some did like hell... some did like heaven.. angry? hate him? what to do? after class, y.chwen wanted to capture his new house at Bandar Utama 6. we went there, wow!! cool man those houses... so beautiful.. but, when i went in........ the design was sucks! the toilet space is so small... wuwu~.~ i said before that i wanted to bring pighead to One Utama shopping complex but... do i have this chances? huhh... miss you piG!

The 53th day without her

a stupid day.. wuwu~.~ just went to college listen to friend presentation.. next monday only my turn.. so lazy.... i hate lazy... i wanted to be hardworking.. but its hard.. =( because of i went back home early, i went to drink with friends.. actually, wanted to cancel but at last also went to meet them.. then went to paradise. at night, I went to kepong jusco with kay li for watch a movie... I do have many nice movie haven’t watch. we watched “brother”. quite a okay movie.. not too bored just normal.. this was my first time went to kepong jusco, from the outer, you will fell that the building is big, but when you be inside the building, you will fell the building was not as big as you imagine.. after finish show, I rushed back to send her back to hostel... how are you??? "wo yao ni hao hao guo" ~.~

The 52th day without her

today, i only have a class... that is building construction and today was the last lecture. we went early to do our project... we almost done it.. but i think we will modify it to make it more best! ... came back home, i have a nap. i wanted to fetch my sister but i took a long nap.. =) now feel more tired.. wuwu~;~ tomorrow some of my classmate will be present.. good luck to them! but me? so lazy.. still wasting time ... if can, i have to do some research after bath and dinner.. my independent friend finished their UEC exam by today.. congratulation! kay li was one of my friend.. yesterday, i mentioned something i did not to say but i doesn't know it.. so sorry.. i knew that this wasn't the first time like that.. =) i do apologize here.. piGhead, how are you??? everything fine? miss ya! my friend Mikoa sent me a song.. a very touch song!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Y-vM8I5jaE my tear also gonna drop while listening to it.. i hope one day, i send this song to pighead..

The 51th day without her

a stupid day in college..!! due to my semester going to end, many subject almost finished teach therefore today, only english class then went back home.. wuwu~.~ too bad.. i asked my friend to help me on the game command and conquer but he also no idea on it.. so sad.. can't play.. too free for me so i called friends to drink.. i lazy to push myself to complete my assignment.. many assignment had delay to next week.. =( good or bad? night, i also didn't do anything..

The 50th day without her

this is the 50 days that we didn't talk to each other.. equals to i miss her 50 days.. well.. i can't hope much, just hope she exam well... good luck! as usual, went to scout activity then went back home.. scouting is a good activity for youth, for me, i am learning more and more through teaching them but if you didn't use your heart to do, learn anything also useless! 2 something, me and joey went to eat and i went his house to do assignment. i wanted to do in house but the F...er's bitch find him..! therefore they used this room.. wuwu~ damn angry that time! but at joey's house, i did quite much.. lucky didn't wasted my time.. "zhao quen" owe me and joey a cup of drink.. yeah yeah! i don't whether is recently my mood was not in a good condition, i miss her less.. lack of think of her.. recently many things happened to me.. i believed that time will cure my sadness..

The 49th day without her

lazy to wake up in this morning.. i be late at ah teo there.. today he get mad of us.. after class we went to have lunch.. i did not eat, i wanted to eat but maybe too tired... wuwu~~ after that i fetched friend go back.. then me and si fatt guai chit chat in the car for more than 4 hours!! that time raining, that's why... some more if i went back home, i can't do anything.. raining can't online also.. therefore chat and chat, chat until so late.. we have intimated in that time.. played around.. . . . wuwu ~.~ is it a good thing for me? recently i didn't online because the damn people! i wanted to do assignment at night time, while i passed the computer for my sister a while, i sleep because very tired then when i awaken, my brother using! F...! !@#$%^&* wuwu~~

The 48th day without her

yesterday night, i canceled my movie plan and joined sa poh's friends for drink, c.wai also there and k.hoe came at last. good news and bad news!!! before bad news, i said my good news first , i checked my eyes at eyes specialist, i can wear glasses !! yeah! =) left eye 70++ while right eye 20++. last time i always wanted to wear glasses.. now, the chance come true.. but for my face, the shape of my face not suit to wear glasses.. wuwu~~ bad news come! in my 17 years life, i cried twice the most, one was when i am form three, another was this evening! both of this, this was the first time i cried so seriously! i think i won't mention what happened through here. is related my last year birthday's present and all about my brother, he such an idiot and rubbish! 23 years old still don't know think! wasted time! don't know learn from mistake! still think that he is always the right..! you think you are MR RIGHT ya? no, you are not! you are MR WRONG!! some times some memories we can't buy it.. but he destroy my unforgettable memory! at that time, i wanted to call pighead but i know i cant... therefore i massaged si fatt guai, she was outside. at that moment, i need some one console me, talk to me. lastly, i called su yin. we chatted for about 8 minutes because i finished my hand phone's credit. my eyes was very "zhong"... wuwu~~ at night, i wanted go out and not staying at home. actually i wanted find tan ting but she was dating with sa poh. at this i need some one who can accompany me, i don't want stay at home.. but disappointed.. while watching movie waiting for sleep, friend called me for celebrate for her birthday.. then i drove because no more space for me.. i slept at 5am.. cool man! super the tired! first time i saw so the cake so big.. every one eat until want vomit.. wuwu~~

The 47th day without her

group work? what is group work? what is the define of group work? next week have to pass up this project... we just done it less than half but i heard my friend joseph said that ours is done the most in whole class.. happy? i don't think so... give idea can improve our project, but give idea without action, whats the different between give an idea and didn't action? equals to none! well... i hope it can be done before due date.. gamble with love?? am i gambling with love? i don't think so.. but one of my friend said that i gambling with her... called me don't gamble anymore... don't wait chance.. action now to get chance.. wuwu ~.~ what i got to do? i just can pray for her -exam good luck!! mentally support her whenever she is sad or in a trouble matter... don't later will go watch resident evil or not... i did messaged my friend and called her but still can't get through her... wuwu~.~

The 46th day without her

wuwu~~ i wanted to sleep more today... super tired... because of . . . "boil porridge" wit sa poh... more than 2 hours.. oh my god... sorry that not trusted you but at last i also will trust you, who called you as sa poh... i learn a theory called theory Y... she taught me when i told her what happened to me.. there are 2 theory which is theory Y and theory X, Y is positive while X is negative. that means she wanted me to be happy.. ^^ sometimes many incident that had happened cannot say that forget about it, then will be forget.. the scars inside my heart is the history of me. today i knew a new friend, his name is "kent". quite a handsome boy.. actually we had been same class for certain subject.. at first, i thought he was a cool guy that don't like to talk but when today we helped each other, i felt that this guy not as cool as i imagine.. same as love stuff, i don't what is her thinking now, i can felt that she avoiding me... is very obviously, i knew it since i drink with my friends.. i felt so sad about what had happened to her.. i really wanted to accompany her... give her caring as much as i can... every girls need cares.. i knew she needs more and more cares... she is going to have her final exam if i am not mistaken.. today, i think an idea for myself. my birthday is coming this november, i don't is she coming back to celebrate with me or not... she said that will accompany(last time).. therefore, i planned that tell her that i will be waiting her at a restaurant near by our area, i will wait her about few hours for her to come, if she don't appear, i think i know what should i do... but, if this step goes wrong... i will regret again in my life.. i am still considering... sa poh knew that i don't want they celebrate for me... i also don't know why... and i can't said i 100% don't want they celebrate... just . . . =( well, pighead, i hope you will appreciate our relation, our sweetest memory..

The 45th day without her

my life was supporting with several of friend such as- eefang(australia), chow hong, siao ying, pui yee. not bad what.. even i lost trusted through several of friend, i still have many supporters! i storied my sadness to 2 friend yesterday, one is xiao hua chi, another is p.y mei... i felt more better... while i am storying to them, i really sad... but when i turned on the music, i felt more and more better.. i heard a friend said before, if she sad, listening to music, everything will be fine... she is sa poh... she likes "tong fang shen qi", a crazy fans of them especially a guy called U-KNOW. stressful always come when semester is going to end.. i still have many assignment to go on and today added one more project which is capturing and recording, group of at least 5, our group have 7.. i started like my new style.. some will laugh towards me but i won't mind, because this decision was made by myself.. i can't regret, i will just appreciate it.. as well as love stuff. i didn't regret like her, i will appreciate what we did before, our memories will won't lost in my mind! i often saw her online while i online, her sister was one of the coolest girl... i did chat with her recently but until half way, she will be disappear. =( always like that one. later on, i will try my best to do my assignment! thanks my friends who support me!!

The 44th day without her

a cool barbecue party... first time i drunk so much alcohol-beer, red wine and whiskey. i hope can get drunk.... but just dizzy... k.tat vomited .. ^^ yesterday, we played until 1something... because k.tat can not carry on more alcohol already.. if he continue, he might over night at there or i drive... =) friend can be trusted in our life for forever? for me, i changed my view... my trusted friend is becoming less and less.. i wanted to be alone.. seriously, i get very disappointed to my buddy... lied to me because of ... he said that, "is buddy only tell me the truth.." what the hack man! bull shit!~ recently i am not in a happy mood.. i just wanted to get drunk... sleep well... no think, no doubt, no worries in my life.. if these come to my life, my life equals to disable person. i just finished a movie "shui yue fung wan". i learned that we can failed in career, studies, ... because it can be stand up again and do it from the beginning but once relationship lost, it will hard to recover the relationship. same as me and pigheaD.. once our relationship stop, i will lost her as well as she will lost me too.. therefore, i really hope she give me one more chance.. i don't want to lost you!!

The 43th day without her

Happy? very funny!!!....i didn't even get a little bit happy.. i messaged her but she didn't reply... i had took the initiative to message her... what you want ya? about yesterday night party, i looked very moody... sit alone... didn't talk much... just different from myself.. but i tried my best to cheer after the party... actually we decided to go black hole for drink... but at last we didn't, we went to imbi road for "tong sui", full of people... then we changed our plan to kepong.. that shop didn't open, maybe closed already. therefore we went 1st station... i told this secret to m.hoe... i don't he can keep his promise or not.. i trust him, therefore i told him... hope he keep his promise.. i don't want lost YOU... i admit that i regret to my action but i don't have choice.... hope you give me a chance or maybe let me know what you feel or what you want me to do.... let me know better than i don't anything... i messaged her twice but she also didn't reply.. she angry me? or ???? i wanted to know what she is thinking about me... i am very tired now... i slept at about 4am... 8something get up for scouting.... oh my god... my assignment!! later night, i have a barbecue party at friend's house... lucky tomorrow is holiday.. yahoo~~ pighead, i still like you very much..................................... time will allow me forget you? i don't wish to... i remembered you said don't want lost me......... do you remember???

The 42th day without her

what will going to happen today??? am i excited to know?? yes... i admit but i seems like don't what to do.. bullshit me!!! spent most time watched on "shui yue fong wan".. so tired... tonight, what am i got to do at there? cheer? or what? =( may be after their celebration, i will go black hole with k.tat, but don't know will him "put aeroplane" .. before go there, i will go play archery to open my mood... ^^ happpy...!!

The 41th day without her

holiday for four day... because of hari raya.... my parents and my sister and others relative just went Singapore.. i didn't follow.. these few days, i am busying go out... ^^ this noon, i went ate ice with si fatt guai... then actually i wanted to watch movie with my "buddy"... everything was fine at first.. then he said changed to small genting then go black hole for drink(alcohol) but at last everything canceled.. bullshit again!!! the only way went out was with c.wai, s.ying and k.hoe.. actually we wanted to discuss whether tomorrow noon wanted to go out or not.. but at last, result with none... bull bull bullshit!! my mood was not in a good condition.. when we were going back.. so lucky that didn't happened any accident.. but almost.. so scary.. ^^.. sorry k.hoe and s.ying.. i won't drive with emotion any more.. i will try my best to avoid... that time, i really moody about piGhead.. tomorrow night, i am still considering am i going to the celebration... i knew that i will be silent for the whole process... i think mostly i will go... maybe.. i cut my hair today.. a new branded of me.. a girl style hair.... ^^ have to style it then only looks nice, wise.. ^^ without styled my hair, it looks like shit! ugly !!!!! pigheaD, i really wanted to find you... miss you a lot... can't use any words to describe how much i miss you.. this 41 days, i really so blurred with my life.. i hope ... ... ... night!

The 40th day without her

FUCKING DAMN hate my fucking brother!! betray me!!! what kind of brother? last time i always protect him by not telling mum anything about he smoke, he went out silently at midnight, now? i just chit chattering with si fatt guai 3-5am.. before that, i rushing my auto cad assignment... my sir said "great" on my work when he viewed... at night, me, c.wai, s.ying, k.hoe and s.ling went to night market.. i thought that was just a while... at last, i get home at 12something.. bullshit! i bathed with a super cheap soap only!! my parents locked their room, didn't left any soap for me to bath... so sad... after night market, they decided go k.hoe's house watch ghost movie.. before went there, they fetch me back and had my dinner.. because i haven't eat anything... at k.hoe's house- stupid bored ghost movie, then we changed to funny movie.. watched a bit then every one went off don't want watch... wuwu~~ then we used different ID to chat with different people... quite bad but fun... my heart felt not quite comfortable towards her... don't know how to describe...

The 39th day without her

wow!! i slept for 3 hours only!! 5 in the morning only sleep... ^^ my whole body was hot.... my eyes were dry and tired... i done my assignment at 3am. while i am going to sleep, i saw "si fatt guai(ghost)" online again at 2 something.. she said her college friends went to her house for surprise.. at first, everyone thought that she won't have a happy's birthday included her self buton the contrary she was happy with her birthday. she happy, i also happy.. ^^ i still haven't say why i slept at 5am... because i gave 2hours to si fatt guai as her birthday gift... so special.. ^^ we chatted until my maid get up and eat her breakfast... she fast(puasa).. me and her super tired ... i think that at college, she will became a special panda bear.. i still conscious with what am i thinking, doing... i have to be fair to everyone.. every action that i make , have to consider deeply, if not . . . what will be happen if a person's life full of failure in love stuff? won't get marriage? scare of coupling? ^^ i also don't.. i knew si fatt guai was a good girl.. . . . well, whole day just full of tiredness... i felt happy with my assignment because sir said GREAT!! while showing to him.. piGheaD is coming back soon... even thought i said don't want to meet each other, i am still looking forward to see her.. like last time... (a moment like this)... sweet memories... will our sweet memories continue???

The 38th day without her

getting fed up with my auto cad assignment! tomorrow have to pass up but i still haven't done it... rushing and rushing.. full of tiredness. just now, some one suddenly asked me a private question which is did i like her before? for my answer, i admitted i did.. he told me his sadness, giving up her to let her more happy.. less stress... besides, he said some one seems like destroying his plan. at this moment i seriously felt guilty! in my mind, i think that i am the one who "destroyed his plan"? my mood sudden changed.. at the same time, i am fed up with my assignment.., i called sa poh immediately and tell her... so bad mood! piG seems like very very unhappy... i felt that wanted to do something to let her be happy.. but how?

The 37th day without her

my folder left at college! damn mad about it! many stuff inside my folder! there was a original letter to pigheaD... i don't want to lost it... hopefully can get back tomorrow.. she seems like still moody.... really no hope to happy? this wednesday is the last day for GSC cinema to show old movie... i wanted to watch transformer..!! and wednesday is sa poh birthday... she still be irritating with her problem.. I had tried my best to help her.. hope she can make it as invisible.. ^^ this Saturday, they are celebrating her birthday, maybe include others 2 which is joey and laicheng. I said to sa poh that I won’t be going if one of them are there,,, ^^ am I joking or serious? last year, I didn’t bought any present to her, just celebrated with her at “add oil station” with chow hong.. I gave her a special postcard which is from a diskette. ^^ this year, am I not going to buy any gift to her? still at the level of considering... will “she” going also? if I see her, what respond should I give? hai, long time didn’t see you, how are you recently? funny me.. so confuse..!! just finished one of my group project (fitting room) included the explanation. our English are damn poor! I felt that mostly is translated from Chinese sentence.. arrr!!

The 36th day without her

these few day i keep going out, my dad seems like not happy with me... but i am 17.. going to 18... i know night time is danger... i knew they worried about me but i will always be careful.. sorry that i am rude on you.. morning, i went to scouting... so tired... i get back home after teaching.. spending about 2 hours to replace my blog.. i wanted to go bath after this blog.. then have to rush my project if i am not tired.. ^^ i wish to see her online now, but i didn't see her.... vei vei vei... i very miss you... can you feel my miss? i wanted to tell her i super miss her... but how? message her? call her? i don't know what respond she will give me, positive? negative? am i waiting her message me? wait she action first? junhoe.... what you want? i also don't know, said junhoe! ^^ was it the letter wrote, hope we wont meet each other, that means we really wont meet each other? unless she contact me? i had "qian jiu" the respond she gave me on 36th day ago!.. am i regret what i wrote? addition, finally i saw her online, 1st time i felt not happy... because she also not happy.. something happened to her again.. i wanted to know what happened again... i wanted to protect her.. give her concern but ... how? pighead, always remember my 6 words! don't try to hurt your self like last time you hurt your hand with knife. please don't! everything can be settled!

The 35th day without her

before i went to college, i went to ah teo's house passed the first aid box to them.. tonight was the final for the competition. then i rushed to follow my friend car to college.. wow.. i looked cool, wise! ^^ a new brand look of me..! i liked this king of wearing-half formal dressed. this time presentation, i still felt that it was not quite good.. i seems like ... uhm.. can't improve... after that we went to 1U for our lunch... geok lan and her friends also went there.. actually i mentioned that i wanted to meet them unfortunately my friend don't want. evening, me, sa poh and monkey are going a korean festival... then joined with g.lan and her friends and my ex classmate.. the result was the place just played with some music on the stage.. every one felt disappointed. sa poh felt guilty conscience to every one because always make mistake.. but for me is fine. then we planed to go pavilion. we had our dinner at s.wang's "kim garry".. then i fetch back every one and monkey went back by his own... 1st time i saw malaysia damn jam at midnight! so fed up! then me and sa poh went for drink.. was she happy recently? i don't think so... force people to accept something that people don't wish to accept, what will happened to that person? happy? sad? or no feel? during ah teo's house, some of them gave her a surprise which is delivery a cake.. i also surprise.. because g.lan told me that whether am i joining to give her surprise on tuesday night-go her house. in conclusion is? if really planned coming tuesday then how come today give her surprise? i knew that she was not happy for this surprise, everyone don't know her feeling... for me, i knew! by the way, me, sa poh and chow hong will celebrate together on a day, hope that she and we also have a happy day! i can feel that her coming birthday won't have a happily memory . in contrary,it bring sadness to both.. those who support the guy, they didn't really consider much on the result that will be happen.. they think that they are so proud to supporting the guy. please... think the result before action.. i didn't mean support friend is wrong.. but have to consider others feeling... well, i fully support her, sa poh.. don't worry... i will be there to cheer you up! ^^ 3 days didn't saw piGheaD online.. because my brother used the computer! i am super extremely tired, drove 2hours car from pavilion... is hard to imagine the painful of suffer! night ! - sa poh and pigheaD!

The 34th day without her

yeah! no class for today.. but................. next week have to pass up 2 assignment, after taken my breakfast, i went to k.how's house to complete our fitting project.. we spent 8 hours on that assignment, now we left the part of explanation. at night time, i had a duty at 'nan yi' school with geok lan, a basketball competition duty. wow! a cool experience.. an old uncle about 55++ sudden felt down... that moment, i admitted a panic... don't know what is the exact way to help on... lucky at last everything was fine.. another case was a young guy "chou jing", this was the normal incident will happen.. therefore i am not scare at all... finished duty, we went to find sui cheng for drink at MC... we chatted a lot.... crapped a lot too... ^^ i was extremely tired! tomorrow i still have to go college for my english presentation.. not much prepare.. just a quick view... die! don't how is she going on recently.. can't see whether she online or not...

The 33th day without her

this morning during class, suddenly i think of her, guessing the serious incident that happened to her... is it related to that guy? because i heard some one said that about that guy... she don't want to tell me because is related to that guy? or what!? i wanted to know!! from her. my IBS subject just watched a damn bored show that related to brand of shoes. my another assignment still haven't work more on it... just always that to play... funning around... =( when will seriously start our project? our assignment won't ended until we finish our studies.. huh... tonight, i had a meeting with scout's trainer, sometimes i think that am i suit to be a trainer? am i qualified to be a trainer? i also don't.. one of our trainer said that out area that moved a new archery shop... then me and jia jun went to play... wow... it had been 3 years i didn't play.. i get 67marks over 120.. ^^ quite expansive to play... i seldom online because of my brother! arr!!! do i need a laptop? hope so if got... ^^

The 32th day without her

oh my godness, yesterday, i talked with her again for more than one and half hour.. so tired this morning.. somemore i didn't do my english article.. the only way was do it on the way came to college.. Mr woon always worried about our englsih language.. some times i felt sorry to him... i knew he is a good teacher even he seems kind of gay.. ^^ ya, its true..! serious..!! he likes male than female.. therefore he treated guys better.. tomorrow have to pass up a part of assignment.. i still haven't do it... just read through it by yesterday.. tonight have to rush it.. now, i am at college's library, waiting for friends finding books.. yesterday, i gave sa poh one of my blog address but it was not this latest blogs, it was my old one which is friendster. she seems like very happy... ^^ sorry.. i cheated you but it was also a blog.. well, i have to stop here.. good luck my dear piG!

The 31th day without her

the first month that we didn't conact to each other. miss her... wow.. yesterday, sa poh started contact me.. contact to a stranger.. ^^ we had on the phone for more than an hour.. we talked a lots.. but mostly she talk the most.. always like that.. she facing a love stuff problem.. hope she will handle it well.. at college, our new asignment come again.. =( wish our group members will done it togehter well... back home, i was damn tired.. i chatted a while on messenger with sa poh again.. ^^ she changed her messenger title.. so funny her.. since so long didn't chat with her, i felt she is a bit of different.. hard to explain. well, i saw pigheaD too.. even she always having exams, she seems like very happy waiting the day coming... at night, i am just sitted in front of the computer for doing research and reading.. so dizzy of reading it.. my eyes... so blur.. so dry.. and so tired..

The 30th day without her

rainy day, because of my technical english class had postpone to this Saturday and there was only one class on today which is auto cab therefore I was truant to college. early morning, I sent my car to repair at my brother’s friend shop, when I reached, and his friend checked, our spare parts not enough so at last gone home with nothing. whole day, I just did a bit of my auto cab project then did some research on my design theory(3rd assignment). this noon, I accompanied my mother to fetch my sister to her piano lesson then we went to giant for shop. for my porpose, I needed a pair of formal shoe therefore I bought a new cheap formal shoe.. ^^ hope coming presentation, I can do it well! today was the 1st day for those form 3 student taking their pmR, in here, wish them good luck! included pigheaD’s sister! just now, mun mun chatted with me, she helped me asked the latest condition from her, so happy!! mun mun wanted me chat with her but I refused it, she don’t know what was happened between us. I asked her to ask 1. how is she? 2. busy with assignment? 3. miss me or not.. ^^ recently she having exam everyday, so hope she good luck! when mun mun asked miss me or not, she said “don’t know o”. by the way, I am happy to know than I don’t know. she is coming back soon. don’t who will be fetch her back.. hope.... hope..... . . . well, I heard that tomorrow she having exam, good luck ya! I will be there to support you!