hi...

i had been long time didn't update this blog.. while i think of what i did last time.. i fell want to cry.. is it hurt or happy or stupid or innocent? i wish to know but i don't know. I'm had ended my semester for a week, feel bored! i wondering why human are so complicated and weird, when stress come, tons of assignment, human wants to end it faster and have nice holiday but when ended everything.. having holiday, human feels bored.. kind of weird.. last week, i think is last Friday 28 of November, this was my bad day.. a guilty day in my life.. why say so? not because i kill someone... don't misunderstand.. just i did something really wrong and hard to forgive myself. my good image towards "someone" had been disappointed. my profile had destroy just a lie... that day i was really hurt and sad... i wanted to cry it out but i cant. life is complicated, it must meet up some difficulty then it only become more appreciable, came up with a interesting memory or history in our life. @. @

Surprising that i appear here?? ^^

i was sick for 2 days... and i was fed up with my group mate since they are farking brainless, think with their pussy brain!!! damn them!!.. really no brain.. back to good thing.. thanks kee for today... i was absent for class because i having ill.. therefore my little kee came to look after me after her class... today the weather wasn't so good.. it rain quite heavy.. and i don't have car to pick up her.. the only way is wait the rain become less.. then she walked to my house... i was quite touch of her.. bringing a heavy beg... and hand beg with many files... get wet a few part.. >'' quite sad... ~.~ but thanks her to do such a big sacrifice... thanks...
good night!! ^^

我的心总是不舒服！

期待中的失望是如何的感觉呢？
虽然已成为了麻木感觉，
但我还是很不开心！！
今天她放我飞机，
不过她有陪我一下下，
我已足够开心因为至少有陪啊!!
她答应明天,陪她时,她又说不能！
那时我已不开心，话说少了，
她感觉不到。。（我觉得)
过后,我还是说会话..
回到家,我就信息她,
-说我已到了.. .. ..
我就躺在床上想（不开心），
我很累了，便睡下下，
起来时，望电话有没有她回我的信息，
没有！！！
总而言之就不开心！！
星期一我要开工了，
所以，已定了今天，明天，后天，
她陪我。。
结果？？
我的心还是怪怪.. 有东西围着它..
现在的我，好像要病了。。。
身体热热的哦。。
对不起，我不想的。。 控制不来。。

holiday!!

yeah.. i am holidaying... i am enjoying my life recently... coming june i will going to work... so, i don't have much time left to enjoy... these is a person whom i always worry about her.. she is kee.. she is quite a pretty girl.. which is always give me supports.. cares.. i was very lucky.. thanks a lot.. i watched narnia yesterday night at pavilion with gang of scout mates... this is our first time gathered.. we was chit chattering crazy... the topic which is prostitute or porns.. ~.~ then we went 1st station for our second round.. tired....

what if happiness and sadness mixed together??

recently i was start my new life.. i enjoy it very much.. happy memory wont last easily in my mind.. i hope, i wont make my wrong decision.. i trust myself again... time will prove to me, you, and everyone... meanwhile.. inside the happiness, there is sadness.. ones happiness come, sacrifice comes.. what if both mixed and come together? starting a new life equals sacrifice another life.. hope this life end longer as you can!! god will always bless you.. as well as me..
i don't know what the hell i am writing... screw!!!

The 206 - 212th day without her

my 3rd idea... what he said... guess ...?? he said - if you like it your design, go ahead... then think of your spaces... i was not quite happy with it... tuesday night, i was spending more than 6 hours for my scale drawing and spaces model.. and when i shown to him. 1st - ask me where is your scale ruler... then he "screw" me... 2nd - my scale all wrong!! out of scale!! 3rd - ask me learn about scale.. i was extremely "fire" .... but he some times he will walk to me, like "an wei" me... touch on my shoulder.. then i feel more calm down..
friend's birthday gathering.. =.= (skip) ... assignment...... tuesday, angel called me to fetch her to somewhere else get something.. that day i was late.. so, late to fetch her.. after that fetch her to tuition... she is cute with glasses... ^^ i said - if want me fetch, 1st, you should be my girl friend.. she said "o"... =.=`` lame... craps... lolz... when fooling her, she was very cute.. but she was cool, she will provide a style of herself... comes to kee... recently i was quite close with her... chatted every day... a nice girl..
tired.. to be continue

The 199 - 205th day without her

this week is the most stress among my 3rd semester.. especially design studio... by mr fabian.. he is a good lecturer but i think is over good... maybe he target was set high toward his student.. and the last project, i was one of his student... pity? or good for us? he banned my idea twice..!! my character of my project is a dancer - jolin. for my 1st idea, mostly form was square - he said, do you think jolin likes this house (design). well, 1st time i was ok with it.. so i changed... 2nd idea, was some sort of ballet dancer (movement). he said - it was not enough graceful.. lines of the dancer movement.. banned again. i was very angry.. i don't know i was angry myself or angry him.. may be both.. angry myself - didn't put 100% affect on my works.. angry him - over smart with himself.. ^^ well... i also busy with my services part of my electricity.. seems like lack of time done in time before due date.. haiz... blame of my lazy-ness... actually, i did half way earlier... cause of lazy... i was busy with scout stuff also... what is my time management... where??? "gg"... saturday night, i went to seremban chung hwa for campfire.. it wasn't fun because of raining... =( next day morning, scout activity... ipoh scout came to our school for teaching us new stuff... tired but no time to relax.. where is my ideas?????? kayli just back from hong kong.. quite surprised me when i miss call her, and she call back me.. she just back from hongkong.. wow.. i also wanted to go.. maybe... will go on may.. recently, i knew a girl.. called shye kee.. mm.. she quite a innocent girl also.. always felt not enough sleep.. =) hopefully to know more about her..

The 192th - 198th day without her

the more busy, the more stress... why? because of my studio...... and the lecturer.... MR FABIEN!! he was a special guy!! the legend... stop about him.. well... he was the lecturer who gave me such a pressure... sucks me during individual discussion... the heat in my body raising up from 0 - 100c.
the coming discussion, i get better feed back... did i do a good research? mm... maybe, maybe not... i was busy with various thing!! scout(junior), scout gathering, studio, assignment... time management is suck........ i went to a PAM lecturer series talk about sustainable building by a french.. damn bored!! no point!! wasted time and money.. ... . . . met edward, also a lecturer.. asked me weather interested work as part time as model making in his working company.. well... i guess so... hopefully.. then we rush to another talk by an artist... .... for me, bored.. because i am not damn good in listening and talking skill (english).. hauyee n yc also went for the talk... "kiasu" people... huhhh.... thrusday, today sy plan canceled... i dated angel for lunch, but at last she reject because wanted to join her friend then we went eat "ice" at air panas... this was pretty bad... she was not eating but watching me... cool and silence... i wanted to get into her world.. but i failed... sorry.... after that i went to cut my hair.. then following by suyiN.. chatting around at kfc... she pretty pity of scold by her mum... cheer up girl!! =) tired now!! tomorrow start training camp 3 days 3 nights... =( monday- model...!! shit!!

The 185th - 191th day without her

busy like hell.... even didn't sleep for whole damn night with my good friend, joseph... because of my outdated computer... my 3D max software can't support the graphic when i do further.. shit! bullshit!! therefore i have no choice.... due date is tomorrow... what can i do? lucky the digital lab was booked by some seniors... pieeew... some more there is a exam for building services... 20% of the overall marks...!! damn my asssssssss... that whole night, whole day was crazy... read equals to didn't read... what the "screw" man!!!! my friend, joseph prepared some "cha siew bao" for us as supper... thanks... at last i done mine part, comes him also... then exam... when sitting in the annex, the exam hall, first, it was cold... second, i was tired, third, i felt that i wanted to sleep besides exam... this time might be "GG", which mean DIE!! if i get 10 out of 20, that was super extremely lucky!!! for my previous test, i get 12 over 20... that was consider lucky also... because, i knew i had many wrong answer... so why still get more than half... perhaps, i better than those who study more hard... thanks god and my lucks... after exam, we went to one utama shopping complex for movie, 10000bc... this movie was quite nice... it is my style.. i like some soft of old war style movie... i hate those who give comment as this movie was really sucks!!! hey, please... if this is not your type of movie, just say not my type... don't say sucks.....!!! even is, please low down your voice, talk between your friend and not to whole "village"!!!

The 178th - 184th day without you

Finally, i knew the truth... pighead has boy friend already.. when that moment i asked her.. my heart really broke down.. but i am happy to know the truth, at least i know she has boy friend already.. the next day, my mood turned back to normal.. that night, i called ling.. we chatted quite long.. even i felt weird, may be we didn't chat for about more than one month.. i expected to update more.. but she has more sad stuff... ~.~ wuwu... recently i was busying with my studio work.. the day before submittion date, i was rushing and rushing my tracing work... sucks!! because many curve... i slept around 5a.m and wake up around 8a.m... =..= thrusday, me, t.t and ling went the garden to watch movie... wow.. it's high class!! all couple seats.. for student price is 15Rm!!! but if with belover, its worth.. vantage point is the movie we watch.. its quite special... but . . . bored a bit of the special.. friday - sunday, i went to kuala selangor for site visit as study.. cool at first.. damn bad at middle and end.. 1 first experience sucks camping... wuwu..~.~ came back that day, i was hungry.. therefore i called someone accompany me and she is "teh siao ying"!! ^^ x

The 171th - 177th day without her

my friend lost his wallet.. pity.... recently just busying with my studies.. 3D max, studio, building services, building construction... all sucks... coming friday, there is a small exam for building construction... wuwu~.~ wednesday, we went to chwen new house overnight after study.. we went to play basketball... wow.. damn "geng"... we just cheap ass... so tired.... friday night, after scout meeting, i went to drink with leemun at uma rami at jalan ipoh there.. we chatted a lot of our stuff.. "ahiz''''''

The 164th - 170th day without you

started my college life.. busy? yup.. i was busy.. starting with my design then model stuff... wuwu~.~..... tired of it... valentine... i bought a present for suyin... actually, i wanted to make a nice box for her to put the cute stuff inside.. due to some one who make me angry... therefore according to my mood i didn't make it... i wished piGhead but she didn't reply... i tried to use my sister cellphone to miss call her, she did reply that " who are you"... i was depress... that is what she want to treat me? well.. i saw her new uploaded pictures.. i saw she wear the necklace that i called her sister pass to her.. suitable for her style.. sweet sweet.. back to suyin.. how i pass to her? this problem made me felt sucks!! the night before valentine day, i asked some one to pass to her.. because of my friend don't like her.. at last she refuse to help me... i damn angry at that time.. lastly, i passed a small present to frankie to pass it to piggy.. that time when i was driving, i quite emotional without dangerous.. then i find mei to help me... thanks!!valentine day, i finished class damn earlier today.. suyin sent a thanks message to me... then i use this opportunity to ask her out.. i thought she is free but. . . then i just accompany my friend chun yee to watch jumper at sunway... good movie... when i back home, surfing the net.. a sudden call by suyin.. requesting help from me... at last i fetch her back.. friday, friends asked me whether want to out or not. i rejected them.. first reason- i was busying with my site visit at one utama there. second reason- i don't want to see them.. don't like their "style"... seems like not my cup of tea.. but .. ~.~ third reason- during that period, i don't want to have any relation with some one.. which is one of the best method to avoid... satuday, they asked me out again.. this time i changed my mind and go with them to visit houses.. i was quite disappointed that . . . at night, my relative having a steambut behind my house.. that night i drunk quite much... golden label..one of the first class whiskey(gold, blue, green, black, red).. and red wine.. blur blur...

The 157th - 163th day without you

This is the first time that i felt chinese new years was sucks!!! In my previous chinese new year, i will celebrate with many relative .. gamble at the first day of chinese new year.. but this year, some get married.. some went to others place.. at last, there is only left few... during the period, i dated quite lots of friend.. among 3days, i date more than 10 times!! some i even called three times.. shit! bull shit! recently i knew a new friend, chloe, i messaged her quite often, but always just chat a while.. piGhead came back for her Chinese NEw year on wednesday night, i offered to fetch her but she refused.. well... is normal for me since "A" years.. her hometown is at ipoh... and my friend chloe also at ipoh... that was so coincidence... before chinese new year, i find angel for lunch... she is quite pretty.. same as her sister.. but have the same weird attitude.. actually the main purpose that i find her is because i wanted to pass something to her and her sister(valentine present, a necklace) .. we went "kang cheng" for lunch. just near by my house.. before chinese new year that night, i went club with my cousin.. BAR CLUB.. expansive and no chick at all.. just only few.. this was the first time i talked with the two chick... quite ok... invited them to join us drink... because we cant finish.. just drink half bottle... but at last they refused me because they want leave... when we leave, they still hanging there with others bastrad!! this is a good experience for me..

The 150th - 156th day without her

chinese new year coming soon... seems like don't have new year feel. me and piggy planned to go island for play but until now, we still haven't select confirm place and time, she said 1st,2nd and 3rd february she can't... make it 4,5,6th february.. but.... T.T i still don't know yet.. even my parents.. may be they won't allowed me... new project come today.. which is proto-type, designing furniture, understanding anthropometric.. i feel the stress of studio 1.. at first, i knew studio 1 is hard.. but when i get into it.. i felt like quite easy.. now, i change my view, stresses were nearer and nearer..

151th- piggy came back to KL.. yesterday night, i called her ask whether need i fetch or not because, no one fetching her... wanted to fetch her at kl sentral but.. she said she will go back to seri kembangan there.. so she go back herself.. felt sad that can't fetch her...

152th- me, frankie went to dinner with piggy.. she looks same.. didn't change much... still the pig face.. pig body.. ^^ i decided to go pizza but at last change to 1st station near my house.. chatting around until 10p.m.. i didn't eat anything because my stomach not feeling well... felt want vomit... then we went to pool... about 12 i leaved.. but frankie still there with his friends.. before go back home, i drive along my area to show her the changes... she came my house over night.. she was the first girl that came to my house sleep... that night, we chatted until 4a.m... wake up at 6a.m... because i have class in morning.. what i listened about her stuff, i felt she still the same piggy that i knew last time... hope she chosen the right decision and no regrets.. about my stuff.. i haven't share with her...

153th- super tired...2 hours sleeping.. going to sick soon.. after breakfast with piggy in my college, around 10, i bring her to KTM station for her to meet up her friend.. she will be going melaka.. about the trip with her had canceled.. besides sad.. hard to express my feelings.. well.. i believe our promise will succeed one day.. yesterday li jing birthday, tonight, they celebrating for her.. actually, i don't want to attend but at last i just attend without having dinner.. i bought her a small present.. a sushi key chain.. hope she will like it.. overall of the celebration is sucks!! can you imagine that, 7.30p.m gather, around 10p.m, all only appear.. and before others appear, they just sitting and "ong gui gui" chat.. capture pictures.. "wahsai"... basically, this can't blame anyone.. if want blame, blame all of us.. ^^ fair enough!! Pighead is coming back next tuesday night.. i offered myself to fetch her but her mum is fetching her.. i asked mind to meet up but she said she is going back hometown at ipoh..angel, her sister told me.. angel has been long time didn't online.. even she changed her attitude, when back to messenger chat, she became cool... ~.~'' recently piG just busying with her studies... practices.. and sleep.. looking forward to meet her... when can we meet again??

155th- we went to my father's site to do our building services... quite surprising us... we went to the site office's meeting room.. few of my father's colleague gave us explanation to what we needed to learn or know.. they printed damn lot of notes.. "wahsai"...

156th- leemun's birthday.. she invited me to have steamboat near my house.. i promised her that i will attend... and after that will go for pool.. stupid man!! i sicked.. if go for pool, the inner will full of smoky.!! at last i did went there, actually i said that will teach her but. . . leemun introduce me a girl.. which called chloe or "ah ying".. same age, working, stay at pandan indah.. she's quite pretty... but leemun said she's quite a bit "meaty".. =)

The 143th - 149th day without her

shit man!! the assignment is extended the date until this coming thrusday.. good or bad? if we haven't finish our project, is good where as if we done our project, is bad!! by the way, we try our best to make it better.. wednesday is public holiday wish to go out but at last, stay at home.. wuwu~.~ tuesday night, me, kwee how, chun yee and levis went to HIDE for drink.. near "maharaleja". fooling around.. even we are tired.. that was a good open air environment.. thrusday, i felt oneself inferior because, those who failed in their experience, they made their model more better... i admire they have this kind of failure consciousness.. why i don't have?? after college, we went to midvalley... i bought 3 gift which is for suet yew's birthday present, suyin's valentine present, and piggy's birthday present in march.. may be some one will ask how about piGhead? i don't know how to answer them.. i also don't.. i give up her? or ?? whatever reason.. what i can do is just keep silent.. friday i went to school again.. main purpose is pass suet yew's present to her.. hope she like it.. then i met suyin.. she asked me whether can fetch her back after school.. at last i promised her.. we went to pizza for lunch.. treat her as a good luck meal because she is going to on behalf state to join a competition dance.. this year, she facing spm examination and many stuff to do. As what i say is, do what ever you wanted to do.. chances are not always give.. some more this is the second chance.. appreciate it.!! i will do my best to help you.. fetch you to bukit jalil if i am allowed.. i have an question for myself, why do i do these things to her? i also don't to answer.. maybe she was one of the girl i loved before.. as i mention in my blog before... as long as i happy, you happy then it's ok.... another question, will i chase her again? may be but i know, she won't accept me... another question, how about piGhead? i don't know again.. in life, we can't answer all the answer as we want(in my view). recently i watched a taiwan drama.. quite funny and touching drama.. i learnt few things in this drama.. pigheaD, i knew that i didn't miss you as much as last time but, i hope you won't appear in my mind.. you know what is the feel when a guy waiting for a empty hope? i am one of them waiting.. stupiG me!! but i like!! stupiG again!!

The 136th - 142th day without her

this week i have fetched su yin few times.. feel like ... started feel the stresses are coming toward me... porject 1 of my studio 1, egg apparatus, this coming wednesday will be going to test out of project... we divided into 3 big group, my partner, kwee how, we are so lucky.. ours is successful! cool man!!! really seems like 10 out of 9 failed.. i really happy with my project that i did but i felt sad also.. why? because, some of them did more better than us... is challenging me, what to do? i hope coming project i will do all my best! next project- proto-type, designing a furniture. 140th- i went to my secondary school today, because today is "zhao shen". i met up with many girls that i knew.. met up angel and suet yew.. quite happy.. angel, seems like change her attitude, friendly, happy, pretty.. suet yew, talkative, innocent, pretty too... i saw suyin also.. she gave me a big reaction which is seems like i cant be there.. i felt like she is avoiding from me.. may be i just sensitive.. jian shern and jun how there also... we checked our SPM original cert but the officer said haven't available.. wuwu~.~ i went off about 2 something to fetch my sister.. i am so hungry, wanted to call some one for lunch with me.. i called- angel and suyin, but non free, angel-haven't go back home, suyin having kfc with friends.. at last, i called whye chung.. so surprising him.. we called jing may also, she was slept.. then after lunch, we went drink with yankher, another surprise which is yankher bring along his girl friend.. unexpected. next day, i called few buddy for drink.. frank, khailiang and that 2 guy.. sometimes, friends chatting around is more better than stay at home.. can share whatever we know.. recently, i chatted with a friend called coco, she was from my ex primary school, we met up before since i was in secondary school.. wanted to date her but she made appointment with her sister to buy new cloths... when are you free friend?? pighead seems like not happy recently.. i just felt it.. hope not happen to her.. tomorrow scout... yeah!!

The 129th - 135th day without her

first day of my third semester... same as previous semester.. time table is quite mess and crush.. i hope i can set up five subject this semester!!! please!! after class, we went to cyber cafe for battle "dota", we won two match!! yeah!! i saw piggy through messenger.. she is coming back on

129th.. may be will go redang with her... three days three nights... yeah!! i miss the moment we get together.. go to beach is own promised to each other! if can go with piGhead, more good!!! i checked from the net, it only start from end of February. sad man!!

130th- yesterday, piggy called me from Macau.. the line was not clear so we didn't chat much.. i called her back at night but no one pick up.. i think she was slept... well, today is an idiot day!!? i think.. hmm... just stupid!! why? great day for my 2008 year.. i only have a class on 10a.m... finished at 10 something.. today, kayli supposed to date me, qiu phing and ah shan for dinner at One Utama.. at last we changed to time square, Gas online.. in short, what i did whole is- stay at college play pool with friends until 1p.m. ; went for movie (The House) alone (friends changed to sing) ; walked whole time square for each level same as sungai wang ; followed pretty girl, sit at the bowling center for one and half hour... damn!! total seven hours!! oh my god... but.. at least... can met up with them.. quite happy with them..

131th- recently, i was damn bastard!! thinking nonsense... keep on thinking.. shit man.. today, i accompany munhoe to cut his hair.. he can be such a good friend but he also can be such a bad friend.. is depend how you view a person.. recently, i used to not mix up with those buddy that i always mix.. i wanted to avoid some friend.. needed to mix with others friend.. can i? suyin called me to fetch her back today as well as munhoe.. he have class at 6.30p.m... i quite care or concern about her always.. she is a good girl sometimes.. i can felt that i am quite happy during we met up or whatever stuff... i hope she will take care herself properly, i will always there to support you!! pigHEad as well!! who ever i love or like before..

133th-wuwu~.~ wanted to stay at house save money... but... munhoe called me... oh..... went to watch movie-national treasure at pavilion. he wanted to watch i am legend, i refuse him... finished, we went to shop at sungai wang... we both bought a glasses... yeah!! recently, i spent a lot... oh my god... my mother's birthday coming soon... wuwu~.~

134th- all my fault... !!! all my wrong... !!! come on scold me..!! dad, if you don't like me, why don't you send me away??? i won't mind... i knew i speak to mum with high voice but... not only me... three of us also.. i am the most less talk so loud.. well... even i get scold with innocent, i do apologize.. please forgive me.. i love you all.. piGhead, i love you as well.. but . . .

135th-scout, i was not satisfy with the cooking activity towards them.. but, i hope i can improve it.. i went back home quite late about 6p.m, we did a stupid thing which is cook rice then mixed with source and a egg.. super crazy.. quite nice.. tired.. pighead didn't give me respond... =( what is she doing?? sleeping? never mind.. tomorrow start a new day... everything will be fine.. hope piggy good luck in her last exam tomorrow! miss you and you!!

The 122th - 128th day without her

122th-these few days, it happened various of things.. i seriously tired of it.. everything.. morning, i didn't sleep well. i vomit this morning after having supper with sl, sy and cw. i started damn don't like cw this guy.. lucky not only me don't, others as well.. then i massaged pighead and tell her.. she called me.... i was happy until don't how to describe.. even i know she still have feel toward that guy, "giraffe". she went to countdown with him - sungai wang and the curve... quite jealous!! yesterday (126th) i bang on a BMW's butt... it was not serious... just a bit of crush.. because i keep it too near between two car... while i admitted i was fooling and reading message that yuanteng send to me.. i learnt from that mistake... that time i felt hate of driving car... but i hope wont happened any accident from now on...!!

126th morning, i went to tar college for study.. ^^ my purpose is for looking girls.. quite fun... after that went to lunch with sapoh then accident.. therefore just went my sister school near by for lunch... then pick up my sister and her friends.. this time, i did inform piGheaD.. she did reply me.. i quite happy with it... thanks you.. besides piggy, every one i like before, also care me a lots.. thanks.. i learnt from it!! then i repaired the number plat on my car.. and had drink with sapoh at our old place.. this time i angry again... totally three times i angry her.. but when chat to her.. my angriness will gone off..

127th- i went out with sapoh to celebrate micheal birthday at midvalley. at first, situation is quite silent.. later on, just normal... very tired... i had my cool style again... sorry.. i mean not in the big group... while going and going back.. i am very sad and tired.. why i sad? i think no need ask.. i also hate myself.. how can like that... no one understand me... no one knows when am i sad or happy.. but i miss you a lot...!

128th- scouting.. i like it so much.. i felt that i can more communicate with them.. hope they can learn skills that i taught to upgrade them self in scouting..! after finished, i went to lunch with kh and joey.. then i went to find suyin to get back her barbecue things at friend's house.. and get the hong kong drama from sy that my stupid sister wants.. then we went to seven eleven.. she wanted to buy milk... and then.. cool ... bought 2 heineken.. wow! quite expensive.. lucky she treat me.. actually, i wanted to pay her.. but.. ^^ i won't too bad.. next time i will repaid her a mickey bear.. yeah! i saw at the gardens... we two drink inside the car near her house's garden.. because my mum want use car.. so after finished i fetch her back.. i saw her mother.. quite a good chatter with me.. =) good image for her mother.. ^^ actually just pretending.. yeah! tomorrow going to start my semester three... very excited to look forward.. tough? fun? but i must be serious on it! a new day, a new hope.. as well piGhead!!