The 121th day without her

wow... is it this is my last page, last day, last story of "The days without her"? i don't know... she said quite directly... but is it she don't want me suffer too much for her? don't want me wasted time and money on her or really not interested on me? actually, i have to call her this noon, tell her what happened that night(accident) and wanted to ask her something- is it i don't have any chance.. well, i think is rubbish question.. bullshit question.. and the point is, i didn't call her. today, my horoscope says that "Try not to worry too much about that big decision you're facing -- though it will be tough, if you can hold off on rushing into something, you should be pretty pleased with the eventual outcome." suyin is quite a nice girl sometimes.. yesterday night, i chatted with her until 0330 a.m.. quite happy after chat with her, even my tears are gathered in my eyEs... my heart felt like something digging on it... ya, actually, piG did went to ONE UTAMA with her sister and sister's friends.. sorry, i can't fulfill your dream by me.. actually, i not really want to go having steak with them.. but munhoe is going.. i tried to date piG, but she refused me... she is kind of extremely weird, complicated, perfect girl... ^^ i hope tonight, i can find her... like last time.. hope she call me... i waiting your call... give me an empty hope, better than none.. i love you!! i will try to control myself to think too much on you... next year, 2008, i will focusing and increasing my skill on my studies.. besides outstanding student, i want to be good of the good student!!! i hope, you will take care yourself carefully, properly, don't hurt your own self, own body.. defend your self!! i will always there waiting your call for help.. happy new year in advance!!