The 121th day without her

wow... is it this is my last page, last day, last story of "The days without her"? i don't know... she said quite directly... but is it she don't want me suffer too much for her? don't want me wasted time and money on her or really not interested on me? actually, i have to call her this noon, tell her what happened that night(accident) and wanted to ask her something- is it i don't have any chance.. well, i think is rubbish question.. bullshit question.. and the point is, i didn't call her. today, my horoscope says that "Try not to worry too much about that big decision you're facing -- though it will be tough, if you can hold off on rushing into something, you should be pretty pleased with the eventual outcome." suyin is quite a nice girl sometimes.. yesterday night, i chatted with her until 0330 a.m.. quite happy after chat with her, even my tears are gathered in my eyEs... my heart felt like something digging on it... ya, actually, piG did went to ONE UTAMA with her sister and sister's friends.. sorry, i can't fulfill your dream by me.. actually, i not really want to go having steak with them.. but munhoe is going.. i tried to date piG, but she refused me... she is kind of extremely weird, complicated, perfect girl... ^^ i hope tonight, i can find her... like last time.. hope she call me... i waiting your call... give me an empty hope, better than none.. i love you!! i will try to control myself to think too much on you... next year, 2008, i will focusing and increasing my skill on my studies.. besides outstanding student, i want to be good of the good student!!! i hope, you will take care yourself carefully, properly, don't hurt your own self, own body.. defend your self!! i will always there waiting your call for help.. happy new year in advance!!

The 120th day without her

yesterday night... wuwu~.~ after house warming, i wanted to call piG out for giving her the necklace but she refuse, reason of quite busy.. then i asked others two friend but same.. that time, i don't want back home so early.. want find some one chat.. at last i called k.hoe they all... we went sentul there have drink...quite nice and warm environment... yankher told me about some bad things during the christmas countdown.. said bad things of her... but what can i do? pretending oh ya.. smile... when go back.. i almost get involve in accident, the road at chong hwa gombak there... i speed... drive with emotion... suddenly a my V car came out... lucky the opposite road don't have car... thanks god.. i don't want lost her... scouting in the morning until afternoon.. many problems have to settle for those members... wuwu~.~ tomorrow is the day of all people waiting to countdown and welcome 2008.. i had plan at first which is planned to go ONE UTAMA.. before i went to china, i booked munhoe and suetling.. when i called them just now, suetling told me she is going with others... that time, i really freaking "fire", well... what to do? just fine.. and bye.. besides, there are few people i damn hate.. i don't like them... their sucks attitude.. their action.. many more.. others friend also booked.. really no mood to border but i really want to go.. i called piGhead too.. chatted with her also.. when she said she want .... i keep saying don't!! don't!!.. because i thought she going to say she want sleep and bye bye.. at last i only know she wanted to bath.. oh my god.. what's the time? even we didn't chat much, i take this opportunity to ask her... whether she still interested with me? answer is NO.. i am happy to heard that because at least i knew what she think.. i didn't sad much.. just no feeling.. like no direction.. hard to describe.. maybe this called love.. i saw my horoscope.. it says me "Try not to worry too much about that big decision you're facing -- though it will be tough, if you can hold off on rushing into something, you should be pretty pleased with the eventual outcome." after chat with piG, i felt this sentences quite good.. then i called suyin..

The 119th day without her

i didn't attend teo's meeting.. i also don't know why.. well, today whole morning spending time to update my blog.. but i still need more more time to update those day i went to china.. later i am going to have lunch with those buddy.. night, i am going to a friend's house warming.. edward is going too.. pretending nothing... happy.. enjoy.. this morning, i viewed some one blog.. i would like to share something here.. i felt quite touching and meaningful.


the different of love & like

Difference between the one
you like
and the one you love

In front of the person you like, your heart
beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get
happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems
like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is
just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like,
you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you
love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say
everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get
shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can
show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the
one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the
eyes of the one you love.

When the one you like is crying, you end
up comforting.
But when the one you love is crying, you cry
with
them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to
like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns
into a drop of tear and remains in your heart
forever

another is this website http://www.samuelgoh.net/love/ai_ni_shi_ge_cuo_v1_v1.htmL
touching song..
i still considering whether i am going to find piG after the dinner or not.. i scare she refuse me... try? or don't?

The 118th day without her

he is wearing my jacket!!! ~.~
3 buddy
our sample..
give us a cool feel..
our yummy waffler.. eat until want vomit!!


yesterday was one of my buddy birthday, munhoe.. we went out together to pavilion for watch movie.. we were crazy... watched two movie.. non-stop.. The Warlords, Aliens VS Predator. after finished the warlords, we rushed for aliens vs predator. this is my first time went to pavilion's gsc cinema as well as munhoe.. both of us were our first time. there is another first time, the second movie we watched, only both of us.. so scary.. wuwu~.~ after finished both movie, we went to find our old friend, chee lup. he is working as a face care stuff at clinique. he gave us some sample for trying.. ^^ hungry..... before went for waffler, i wanted to go perlini's silver for a look... because i wanted to buy something for next year february but don't have nice one.. =( while having our dinner, we chatted a lot of our stuff... i told him many thing because i trust him, i really wanted have a good buddy... there are some stuff i never told to someone(male) before.. actually, this afternoon, i massaged piG whether want have lunch with me or not but she didn't reply me until i saw her online.. i was unhappy.. wuwu~.~ i don't want wasted time... i want to appreciate spend time with her.. but.. ~.~ wuwuwu even she gave me an empty hope, i hope time will fill in something into my empty hope.. good night!!

The 117th day without her

The 116th day without her

The 115th day without her

The 114th day without her

The 113th day without her

The 112th day without her

The 111th day without her

The 110th day without her

The 109th day without her

tomorrow going to china but i haven't pack my stuff because i was busy... finally i done all total four christmas gift.. cool... nice... this morning, i wanted to give up to complete the others two.. but i don't know why, i will complete the others.. i am happy with myself.. really very nice.. it is my first time made it... actually is second time, but this time is different.. tonight i am going to be "santa young man" to give away my limited edition christmas gift.. ^^ pighead was out with someone else for japanese food.. i don't what time she will be back but i have to give it to her by today!! hope me and her will have a good memory...

the 108th day without her

three person went to klcc... me, kayli and black charcoal.. before meet kayli, black charcoal accompany me go to time square.. i spent quite long to find the shop... at last i made the puzzle.. very costly.. wuwu~.~ RM90.. last year, i made one also, me and yuanteng.. but i don't it still in protected.. because that monkey... wuwu~.~ i met my college lecturer.. a handsome guy.. =) well, we walked quite long, bought many things.. come back to me, when i wanted to buy the chocolates, that seller said out of stock, that time i seems like from happy changed to sad+++ so lucky that, famous armos have sell those chocolates too... wow!! cheer back.... at night, i finished the second gift...!! yeah!! two more to go... i waiting the day to pass the gift to pighead... what respond she wil give me?? hope good respond!!

The 107th day without her

finally, i done one of the chrismaz gift which is for pighead. even the open part can't open smoothly, i felt it's ok.. what i experienced is, i can't make something exactly same with what we imagine... while doing or making, we have to always change idea to do the max..!! same as the gift, is totally different from my imagination.. thrusday i am going to china, seems like no time do others and buy chocolates, make puzzle... wuwu~.~ i messaged black charcoal to accompany me hang out but she didn't reply.. then kayli called me... she date me to accompany her buy christmas gift for her client.. well, so i promised her.. tired~.~ good night piG!!

The 106th day without her

my sickness getting a bit worse... my throat is getting more itchy and make me cough often.. today i am extremely tired... being my cousin's brother today and the person who open the door for my cousin. help on a lot.. get scold a lot too... not only me... others too... =) my mind is blurred now... tired... tired... and tired... thanks those who concern me... i didn't think much about pighead... i don't know why... is it i don't have feeling towards her? but i still very worry about the gift... my parents are not allowed me to go out... but i have to... i have three ways to choose- 1) broke my own promise 2) delay the gift( after my trip) 3) done it before my trip wow!!! hard to choose.. i am not feeling well............ for me, i will choose the 3rd choice.. good luck my friend, juNhoe!!

The 105th day without her

sick... sleep and sleep and sleep... i din't attend teo's meeting.. later night have to attend wedding dinner again... sick!!! i need you take care me!!! accompany me..... !!!

The 104th day without her

wow!!! i didn't sleep... i hate it!! my stupid habit!! i can't sleep after over time.. bull shit! clubbing was suck at first because the person who take us to maison, he don't know the way to go..!! we almost wasted an hour for finding that place.. Maison the club house, quite small.. quite crowd.. the light, the music not as good as SODA.. some expansive... but important is when you enjoy the process.. i get scold this morning... shit!! bull shit!! my mum called me at 3am but i miss called back, she didn't call back.. our party finished at 3am.. back at 4am... can't sleep then 6.55am dad fetch me to school.. be "pengadil" until 4 something! shit again!! then night, i went to my cousin buffer wedding party at golf club, bukit jalil.. then i sick... my chrismas gift!! i scare i can't make it!!! =(... sorry pighead...

The 103th day without her

right view
left view
i prefer right view, before that i prefer left view.


a new life start from today... why? because i cut my hair... =.- kay li, my friend score quite good for her UEC result.. 4As 5Bs... congrats to her!! hey, kayli, my hair not bad what? right? more nice than last last time?? ^^ didn't disappointed you... =) i did chat with her today... quite happy but still bad... cause i can fell she avoid me... when mention miss me? she won't bother me until i hello to her... well... consider as not bad.. i should fell happy with it.. i asked her whether interested to go concert on 22th of december... hope she will go.. i can't join because that time, i am enjoying at china.. i dated her to one utama shopping complex but she refuse.. by the way, i should respect her choice.. if with others friend, she might want.. but i don't want!!!!!! tonight, i am going to go exercise with friends.. ^^ i drive ... =( later, i hope can do a bit of the christmas gift..

The 102th day without her

this morning, many area didn't have electric.. my stomach not feeling well when i walked to the place they gather.. we went to blood bank for visit... quite interesting.. learned how they separated the blood.. how they freeze it... how long the blood can last on.. after that, we went for lunch... a wonderful lunch... a place that no body confirm know to go... is ampang "yong tau fu"! faint~.~ at last, we still reached there.. yummy yummy ^^ then we decided go drink but they don't want.. we just went to carefour to buy the first aids box.. and some medicine.. at home, no electric... cant do anything.. i did messaged suyin, phayli, and pighead.. suyin- on the way back to Kuala Lumpur from Langkawi.. they two had broke up already... i tried my best to cheer up her... but.. i don't like that people trying to cheer up some one and that person throw cold water towards that person.. well, i am ok.. hope she will happy always... phayli- i found her to have drink with me.. i knew her new home.. she moved to new home.. 29th of december, she will have a open house... we mentioned about piGheaD... i really don't want give up like this... i have to do something for her.. i bought the mounting board already.. i will start my work soon... pigheaD- i wanted to find her but she was hang out with her friends.. she really treat me very cool...!!!! i don't want!!! please...~.~.~.~.~

The 101th day without her

celebrating christmas.. a huge decoration..


today is selangor king's birthday therefore my father didn't work.. off one day... we went one utama shopping... many people.. many sales... i did bought 1 shirt 1 trousers, and my sister too.. we spent quite a lot.. mostly is my sister.. i met simon with his girl friend... then he told me boon chi and junyih also at one utama, as well as huimun working at there also.. i join boonchi and junyih for lunch.. junyih's speaks always ... (bad thing), last time at college, we doing a project.. our groupmate kwee how damn hate him.. almost want hit him... ~.~wuwu on the way back, we went to visit my cousin because he infected dengue.. hope he get well soon... when i hanging around at one utama, i always wanted to bring her to here... when this chance come to me?? wuwu~.~

The 100th day without her

wow!! 100 days passed.. bored and tired day.. rainy day... almost whole day.... cool cool and cool... last time, people asked my mood or something else, i used to say see the weather how then how... which is the weather is sunny-good mood, rainy-moody or crying .... for the 4 days of camp, i found out i didn't think of stupiG much.... i don't know why, is it i was busy in the camp.. many different new friends? or what? but i grasped something new at the camp, there was 3 talk in the camp, each talk had their meaning.. i hope i can learn through the meaning and do something useful... dare to think, dare to do, dare to assume!!! and from the lyric of the main song of the camp, it said: what kind of thinking will give us what kind of result... means if we think positive, it may give us positive result.. doing something positive is better than think something negative.. i needed to do something.. i hope i can make the chrismax present as fast as i can... pigheaD! take care properly... raining nowadays.... night!

The 99th day without her

last day of the camp... every one missed this place.... include me... when we sit together.. listening to the main song and others song... many people cry... not include me.. because i am a cool and strong guy!! =) we captured many pictures... hug every one of my group... when finished our cosing ceremony... rain comes... oh my god... the god cries.. =) every one get wet.. bring a unforgettable memory back home... every one was tired.. dinner, me and edward ate at mC.. a delicious meal... 10.30 i went for drink with frankie they all... then went for pool a while.. tired like hell man!! i did messaged with my dear queen.. =)

The 98th day without her

costume night... which is our campfire night.. noon, we went to walk into the swam... this activity is the mostly famous in every year.. tired... there was a talk today again.. dare to dream, dare to do, dare to assume... think it then do it.. don't doubt too much.. the result no matter is bad or good, at least you do try your best to get it.. you will learn more than just think without action.. time on!! time for us rock..!!! shake and dance!! high!! our leader, group 17 is the winner of the costume competition.. yeah!! after finished, i met a new friend-satay Queen... my queen.. =) she quite talkative... quite fun when we chat together.. we lay on the grass with newspaper and look at the sky... my mind was empty... that time, she and her boy friend just broke.. 2 years.. wow.. i admired you!! i gave her a four leaf grass to cheer up her even she was nothing.. 1-wish her happy, 2-wish her wealthy 3- wish her healthy 4- wish her young? forgotten already.. that midnight, i wanted to know new friends but only myself.. and some more all big big gang sit together.. oh shit!! therefore me and satay Queen chat until 5 then went to sleep.. actually, i am the satay king... ^^

The 97th day without her

Started our first day of camp... many people arrived when we gathered... besides knowing each others, we have to solve the competition problems.. wuwu~.~ dance and dance and dance; sit and sit and sit.... noon, 20 groups separated into half, 1-10 groups went to swam activity while 11-20 groups went to play games... our group, consider as working together but there was still few people are not cooperate.. well... i played different of new games.. quite interesting.. hope i can pass my experience to my scout members... night, time for us to take part in the competition.. the advertise was separated to different category. our cell phone advertise, we get first prize... cool!!! wow.... i acted as a old fashion phone.. (wong fei hong century)..

The 96th day without her

morning was rain.... i was rushing myself to go for pudu raya station.. all time with edward in the bus, i don't even ask much about him... but he did ask me a question.. "do you know i am dating with her"?? i answered, "ming zhi gu wen"... we was with others unknown members together in the bus... when we reached, we wait the town bus to take us to the camp site.. wow! cool.. we reached.. near the malacca zoo.. stupid!! because have to walk a long distance to get in... that time, the weather was raining again.... practice dance, listen what should do, make some new friends, join to the group... cool.....

The 95th day without her

yesterday night, i was tired but wanted to talk on the phone with friend therefore, i selected kayli... because she was moody recently too.. but she was at outside.. half an hour later, she called me.. then i wanted to see sy's gift from sa poh.. at last she mms me.. =) then we chatted on the phone quite long.. that time i was tired... closed eyes talking with her.. her problems was the borest part.. but my part was the excited part... why? because we had talk about every one style.. include me.. i will focusing on sapoh and maggie here.. sy senses: 1)maggie- she might her many boys who like her because she confuse herself which one she like.. but she will like a person, appreciate a person through a deep hurt from a lesson. 2) sa poh- she was innocent person.. treat everyone super good.. don't know love stuff.. even she like some body else, maybe she don't also.. only time may cure her innocent.. become more mature.. i quite agree with it.. for me, both have their good and bad.. among both of them and piGhead, i will choose piGhead at first.. sometimes, it's hard for us to decide.. i needed to consider every thing in further. today was one of the bored day in my life.. wuwu~.~ yeah.. Junhoe will coming up with 2007year chrismas girt collection edition... limited... only four... cool...!! who is the luckiest??? tomorrow will be going to malacca camp.. excited? nope.. no feeling at all.. rock and roll!!!

The 94th day without her

today is our class gathering.. who will remember this day? i think not much.. i had asked those who joined our gathering- 10 human, included me. mostly knew today but don't know is 4/12... well... many of us disappointed with the "gathering".. the person who host came late an hour.. is this show good for every one? even we are friend, i still quite fed up with it.. i don't like you, means i don't like... i din't talk much with cheewai also.... cause i don't like.. joey is same but i still talk crap with him. This gathering was planned this mid night 12 something.. disappointed.. ~.~wuwu if this time i host, will this happen again? ^^ i wont be a hoster anymore unless miracle come to me... this time, i quite enjoy myself... didn't show my cool attitude like previous gathering.. long time didn't heard maggie called me MR JUN... =) huiying's brother.. oh my god.. bleed when talk about him.. luenchong, talk less, no idea what to talk... kh, sick of anxious at first, but after that normal.. because of ..?? (secret) wc, back bone problem... sl, crazy, happiest among us.. sy, same as kh... joey, lame as usual.. cheewai, no idea.. me, wow... cool.. enjoy.. no one knows when am i happy or sad... unless i tell... a mysterious guy... ^^ before this gathering, me, wailun and kh went to shop at time square and sungei wang plaza.. me and wailun bought something new.. i bought a cloth, some sort of singlet. i get a BON bear( so zai long) from sa poh and sy as my birthday present.. weird.. thanks.. lunch, we did drink beer... talk our privacy stuff.. unless me... =) pretending to them.. cool maN! miss pigheaD super the much.. i miss her smile... her sweetest smile.. miss her like star so high(last time she said that she like me got star so high), miss her like condominium so high(last time we said) ..

The 93 day without her

Finally, we bought the bus ticket to Malacca with edward... i talk very the less with him, pretending nothing happened with us.. because i am still haven't forgive him.. even thought i felt i wanted to be like last time.. actually, i planned to cut my hair too.. but seems like quite nice.. i didn't cut.. but i accompany him cut.. he was angry with his hair.. well what to do? afternoon, i sent my sister to return her books to my friend's sister.. the camp is almost near and near... seems like i am not a responsible person... i am fed up to discuss much on it... why? i don't know... lazy is my reason? maybe.. miss her so much...

The 92th day without her

Encore Night was not bad yesterday.. i showed out my coolest of my own self through the whole night.. i was enjoy our pizza dinner.. i was surprising myself.. but i think i did right.. fool is part of my entertainment while cool is my part of attitude.. ^^ i like it.. yeah! thanks to you you and you and you you ..... her smile always the sweetest... =) i was scare that i cant fall as sleep... i felt that if i really cant sleep again, i will fall sick.. lucky i can sleep well even was not long... scouting this morning.. i felt that i am not a good trainer but i am a good fooler.. ^^ sorry to you all (my members that i teach).. afternoon, we went to luen chong's house for lunch, his brother marriage.. back home, i sleep... =) i chatted with pighead but she was busy.. i knew she was avoiding me.. what to do so? just be patient wait and see my fate.. but i wanted to thanks god... God gave a nice and good chance for me to see her smile... =) yeah! i still feel very hot and tired...finally, my best friend "xiao hua chi" online.. she finished her exam.. good luck for her result.!!

The 91th day without her

yesterday, at first i thought that i have chance because she replied me.. when asked need to fetch.. she didn't reply at all.. i sent 3 message.. but no respond also.. wuwu~.~ i really quite sad about it.. what to do? not the first time.. i went to watch movie yesterday night- enchanted... that time, i am still in consideration.. because pighead didn't have any respond at that time... have to make a choice of two at one time.. wuwu~.~ i did a stupid thing.. why i parked my car at pekeliling ?? wuwu~.~ maybe, i more prefer on public transport.. well.. we missed the last train.. just late one minute.. therefore no choice, we took cab back to pekeliling then fetch them back.. i felt guilty to her... make her went back so late.. it was our first time so late back home... wuwu~.~ it was my responsible.. i should not delay till too late.. her mum waked up after she brushed her teeth.. so funny!! by the way, i did apologized to her.. =) now, i super extremely tired.. i can't sleep whole night.. my psychology's problem comes again.. this the main reason that made me can't sleep.. before reached home, there was a gang of pig malays hanging around the street in late.. so damn brainless!! the only way is wait them get off.. so tired to go for teo's meeting.. cpr training today. this coming evening i am going to a concert at tar college but i am tired... =( sometimes, things that shouldn't tell out, should be make it as mysterious.. i read before, as a scorpio, his or her attitude should be mysterious.. but for me, i think .. it wasn't.. i am not in good condition now.. but i still thinking of you.... piG!!